Kim Kardashian got a job.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Justin Bieber.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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zebras

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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There was a white kid named Tyrone.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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brett is a dick

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops