Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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