knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Why did the baby die? I killed it.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Knock knock

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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