I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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kcuf read it backwards

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Women's rights

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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Potato!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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