When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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17

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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