A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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