Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Gale swallows.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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This is a joke.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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