What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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