A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Pickles

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Mogok Papiti.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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