I was so fat I went on a diet

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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