A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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Women's Rights.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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