Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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rent a cops

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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