Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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