How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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