What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What is a dog? Bark

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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anti jokes are really funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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