What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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I'm Coming

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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