Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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lol

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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