My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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