why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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