Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Black people

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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This is the concept of anti-joke.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? 37 1/2

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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