Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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