Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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DERP

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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