What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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