What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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poop

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Niall Horan

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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