Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Obama

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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Two parrots were sitting on a perch. The older one turned to the younger one and said "do you smell fish?" The younger one paused for a bit, and replied "do you smell fish?" Their owner had been talking about fish.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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68

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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hi

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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