WEED!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

anne hatthaway

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops