How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Hippopatomous!

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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