What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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Black people. They are so kind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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