Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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American Idol

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Women's Rights

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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