Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Left. That one direction...

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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An englishman, Irishman and scottishman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Irishman and englishman both jump off the cliff. The scottishman says "oh,shit".

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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