How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A mans opinion.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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