Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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