What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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i like pie

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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like if your cool

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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