Please? No.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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