wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

The Mets win the World Series

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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