A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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CAVE JOHNSON.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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homosexuals are gay

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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