How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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