Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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