Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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12 in general

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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