A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Cancer

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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