Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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