Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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Donald Trump

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Neither did she.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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38 studio's new game... Finance City

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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