Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Peas

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Lindsay Lohan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops