Phew... it's gone.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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