why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

FOX News: Fair and balanced

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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