What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Yes

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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