What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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