what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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