Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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