What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops