Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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