i'm hard

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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