a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -32

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops