how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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im telling maguire

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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