Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops