A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Gay republicans

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops