A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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