- Anti Joke

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

Knock knock knock OCD

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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